


a mark of memory

by qookyquiche



Series: Star Wars: Diverge [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diverge AU, F/M, Gen, Hot Chocolate, Hurt/Comfort, I am a compulsive canon-compliant, Post-TRoS, Rey Palpatine, Rey's Scar, Reylo - Freeform, SW: Diverge AU, Sorry guys, yes Rey Palpatine is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qookyquiche/pseuds/qookyquiche
Summary: For my Star Wars: Diverge AUThings are a little cold between them. But for the first time since his return to realspace about a month ago, Rey opens up to him again. It starts off about a certain scar on her arm but ends with a little more (or less?) than Ben bargained for.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Star Wars: Diverge [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050080
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	a mark of memory

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I have a lot to say about this before you guys get on with reading, so please hear me out.
> 
>  **First** , this is my very first one-shot, my first _fic_ for Reylo (Not sure if you guys are aware, but I've basically sunken waist-deep into this fandom for about a year now). So bear with me if this is a little rough around the edges as I get used to the characters.
> 
>  **Second** , I've been working on an AU that retcons Sidious' Force-sucking of our heroes from TROS and onward (so that means no death, no kiss, no burying of lightsabers, no Rey Skywalker) and begins just as Ben joins with Rey on Exegol. From there, I've been outlining different events, building a massive narrative with different arcs, depending on the character of focus or dynamics involved. Now unfortunately I don't believe I will ever be able to turn this into an overarching series of fanfiction, but I have been providing little tastes through doodles and scenes on my art account and maybe in the future, I can create more written content. For now they're mostly outlines that I keep privately. 
> 
> **Third** , the events Rey and Ben allude to are from my AU's timeline that I've already more or less established, with some arcs more detailed than others. To give you context, here's a list of the most need-to-know key events in my AU:
> 
> _\- Ben never gets to rejoin Rey with the Resistance after Exegol, instead finding himself on Jakku after he realizes the threat of being hunted down and killed as a remnant of the First Order (let's just say a lot of folks no longer want a repeat of the birth of the First Order). Rey wants to help but he refuses and he ends up on that desert planet for the next three months._
> 
> _\- A few months later, he disappears (having traveled to the World Between Worlds and then Mortis), cutting himself off from the Force in realspace and from Rey._
> 
> _\- It takes at least one standard year for him to return to realspace, when Rey bumps into him during one of their missions to Coruscant. His absence has taken a toll on her._
> 
>  **Finally** , this oneshot serves as my attempt at exploring their characters/ dynamics now that Ben Solo is no longer under the influence of Sidious. I know the fandom has already established certain traits about them based on crumbs given from canon, but I wanted to have a go at them through the way I saw the canon and tried to keep fanon ideas down to somewhat of a minimum.
> 
> (Also, I don't have a lick of knowledge on Star Wars spaceships just yet, but they are not on the _Falcon_ , jsyk)
> 
> And with that, here is my first Reylo one-shot.

He finds her before he sees her. Her Force signature is calm, collected, but humming with anticipation. For what, he can't discern, as if it is hidden from him.

The sun has just begun to cross the horizon line when he pokes his head out of the hatch. 

There. She is sitting on top of one of the ship’s platforms, leaning against the wall that juts above the rest of the ship’s port side. He can make out the top of her head, silhouetted against the orange light. 

“Hey,” he greets. Rey whirls her head around.

“Hi, Ben, what do you have there?” She asks, as he pulls himself out from the hatch with two steaming cups floating up after him.

“I got you some hot chocolate. Rose made it and said you’d be here.” Taking both cups, he hands one to her. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” She takes a moment to enjoy the sweet, earthy aroma before returning her gaze to the horizon. 

Ben makes his move to leave.

“No, stay,” she calls, stopping him. “I could use the company. Please.”

He crouches to sit down next to her, allowing a foot of space in-between them. Deep inside, he’s just thrilled to spend some time with her without the possibility of being interrupted any time soon. All their friends are busy, having traveled to the nearest town just earlier, leaving the two to watch over the the ship. It had been awhile since he and Rey got to speak privately with each other. A long while.

However, not one word passes between them in the following moments. Ben tries to find any words he’d say, unsure if he should even speak. In the silence, he keeps his head low, blowing on his cup so as not to burn his tongue and takes a drink of the warm beverage. But as he does, he steals a glance at Rey’s figure and, there, he notices it.

The scar. The one she’d gotten from their battle in Snoke’s throne room. He recalls vividly how she received it too, when a Praetorian guard had lunged their blade at her, cutting skin and drawing blood. He remembers the wild emotions that drew from him, unexplainable at the time, but enough to further drive his ferocity in the aim for victory. 

And since he’d joined her group, he has caught himself staring at the mark several times, unable to explain to himself why. But each time, he reels back just moments before Rey is able to sense his staring or curiosity.

He intensifies his gaze on his cup.

“Ben, I can feel you fidgeting. Is everything alright?” she tells him gently.

Up close, her features leave him breathless. Her hair is loose, no longer kept in those three buns. She has let it flow naturally, tying only a small amount into a loop at the back of her head. The curls have remained, and they’re longer now, framing her face in its caresses. Her clothes. A stark contrast to her bright outfit previously. It suits her.

She’s so beautiful, he yearns. If he could only—

No. Ben hides these thoughts before Rey can discern them. He swiftly staves off his ogling and sighs again, more unsure of what to say now that he has her attention.

“I-I...it’s nothing,” he stammers, scratching his head.

Rey gives him a questioning gaze. But to his surprise, she doesn’t prod further, not even through the Force. “Okay then,” is all she replies with a shrug before returning to her drink. 

Ben keeps glancing at her arm. He really wants to ask. The curious loth-cat in him won’t let it go.

“—Wait,” he starts, a bit too forceful. “I...do have a question”. 

She turns to him again, now with a wordless encouragement to go on.

He takes a deep breath, sipping more of his drink to clear his throat.

“That scar. On your arm,” he blurts, tilting his head as if to point at it.

Rey twists her neck over her shoulder “What about it?” she asks.

“I am aware you can heal injuries, even those that had been around for years. I’ve seen you do it many times now, even on yourself. So, why keep that one?”

His chest tightens the moment those words leave his lips. Was that too personal, he asks himself. 

Ben knows that despite their bond in the Force, they had yet to achieve the same kind of openness he'd seen with Rey and her other friends from the Resistance. But he also recalls her honesty with him while on opposite sides of the war. He misses that, he realizes, though her current demeanor is nothing shocking or disheartening. He’d only just returned to realspace (and to her, inadvertently) less than a month ago after all and until that point, she hadn’t talked to him, seen him, or even communed with him through the Force in over two years. 

And when he returned, he found Rey to be...different. Putting aside her violent “welcome” of him, she had become more reserved. Closed. Two years after they’d fought together on Exegol, with her heart so full of happiness when he came to join her, Rey acted much more cautious with him now. 

Yet, he could detect slivers of unrest and weariness within her. Whether she was intentionally allowing him to sense that or not, he chooses not to ask.

Ben was aware that upon returning, he would have to be patient with Rey. It was the same while he was in their make-shift prison and then shortly after, freed and let go. So he was incredibly grateful that she was even willing to let him remain with them after what he’d put her through, even if the only things binding them to each other now was their tumultuous past...and the Force, the prophesied Dyad...

A dyad. What was a Dyad meant to do anyway?

One other thing he had observed was that despite their reunion, they had yet to experience another Force connection. Had she…?

Ben’s thoughts slow to a halt as he realizes Rey hasn’t actually answered his question yet, nor made any gesture to indicate she is going to. Instead, she takes another sip from her cup, her eyes now trained to the horizon again. 

He fears she is going to scold him for asking such an intimate question. Or maybe she’ll say he’s acting weird and doesn’t need to know. Whatever happens, Ben braces himself for rejection.

Rey sighs wearily, taking her free arm and laying her fingertips on the middle of her scar.

“I’ve been asking the same question myself,” she acknowledges at last, her voice almost a whisper. “I even covered it for a while so I’d stop thinking about it.”

He remembers a peculiar sadness about that, in the midst of his relentless, idiotic pursuit of her.

She goes on. “But in the end, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Like something was holding me back.” 

“Something from the Force?” he suggests, a little too eagerly. 

Her listless eyes move towards the cup in her hand as she squeezes her arm.

“Perhaps, but,” her head turns to regard him with the corner of her eye. “That’s one reason why I’ve wanted to talk to you for some time now. I was afraid at first, but when I sensed you coming up, I saw the perfect opportunity and thought I should take it.”

Ben raises his eyebrows. “Did you know that I was going to ask?”

Rey shakes her head. “No, well...maybe. I had a hunch. Like I said, I could feel you fidgeting earlier and if I can be blunt, you weren’t exactly subtle with the staring for the past few weeks.”

Darn it. So she did notice. 

“S-Sorry. That was creepy, and I shouldn’t have. I was just—”

“No, it’s ok. The scar isn’t something a lot of people bring up anyway. Everyone else just thinks it’s a fun battle wound and assumes I was keeping it because it looked cool. As for the staring, well, it is oddly-shaped, I know. So I understand the curiosity.”

He supposes that is a valid answer. It does look kind of “cool”. And “odd”.

“But that’s not why I kept it.”

Ben raises an eyebrow.

“I knew I had a reason. Something more personal. I just couldn’t put it into words for a long time. So in the end, I never figured out what that reason was and decided not to dwell on it. At least, not until…”

She trails off, and bites her lip, obviously being careful in selecting her next words. He can more freely perceive the mix of trepidation and unease in her mind. The hesitance. But he won’t rush her. Being by her side is already enough for him after all and if it takes her years to open up to him again, then so be it. He can wait.

Her face is crestfallen and betraying that all-too-familiar combination of confusing emotions.

“...Until _you_ came back.”

He blinks at her owlishly, his fear and curiosity piqued.

Sensing his mind, Rey angles her chin, pointing to her arm and pivots on her seat, so her arm and scar are now in full view, clear even in the dimming light

“Look carefully. What do you see?”

He squints his eyes to study its shape, now highlighted by a silver halo as the two moons now begin to rise in the sky. 

At first, he thinks they resemble two lightning bolts. It fits her, considering her strength in the Force. But the more he studies it, the more he feels Rey now attempting to reach into his mind. Not forcefully, no. More like she’s guiding him somewhere. A memory?

Then, in his head, he sees them, or rather, the visions fly through his mind in a collage of color and other sensations. That night, where they touched hands, during one of their Force bonds just before Luke interrupted them. Then their fight in the Throne Room just after killing Snoke. Him offering her hand. Their encounter on his ship’s hangar. Kef Bir. Then finally, on Exegol. 

The shape illuminates in his vision.

Two hands. Reaching out to each other.

Just like when they had reached out to each other. Even when they were on opposing sides.

“Ben.”

Hearing his name in her lips is electrifying and relieving all at once. 

Her eyes have grown misty when he brings his attention to her face again. She shifts in place so that she’s kneeling before him now, hands balled on the top of her thighs.

“You told me I wasn’t alone. And you were right. I wasn’t. I’m not. I realized I wanted to keep this scar as a reminder of what you told me. Of you, Ben.”

When he sees her face, she is grinning. The way she repeats his words of comfort fills him with a deep fondness. It’s true. She’s not alone. And this time he’ll make sure she never will be, again.

But her expression quickly morphs, betraying regret and grief. She bites her lip.

“I need to say something else, the other reason I wanted to talk to you. And I should’ve said this much earlier.”

His shoulders tense. He waits.

“I’m sorry,” she admits with a quiver of her voice. “I’m sorry. When you came back, I shut you out. And for that, I’ve wanted to apologize.”

Three tears flow down her cheeks, Ben counts. He nearly panics. 

“I was so cold to you, acting like I didn’t care, or that you weren’t worth my time. And yet, you were so patient with me, you never let your anger out, even when my friends would come to see you but I wouldn’t and I knew, sensed you wanted to see me. It was so obvious you’d changed and I—”

Ben grabs her shoulders, making sure not to jostle her.

“Rey, stop, please. It’s ok. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be—” 

He never gets to complete the rest of his words, because Rey has now pulled herself to him, gripping his shirt with both hands and hiding her face against the fabric.

The shock of their contact throws his mental faculties awry and his hands grow limp. He wants to say something when—

“The truth is, Ben, I missed you,” she confesses between sobs. “I...I couldn’t explain it to my friends at first. I mean, we barely knew each other except for what we had already shared through the Force. But when you disappeared...I felt so empty, so lost in what to do.”

Kriff. He’s not sure what he swears about. The Force? Himself? Rey’s confession?

“I went to search for you, Ben,” she cries weakly. “Even after I kept telling myself I had to move on. I looked for you. I wanted to see you. I went to dark places, ancient ruins of the Sith even, just to learn some way to reach you. I encountered dreadful things in the process. But I couldn’t find you in any of it. You were gone.”

He lets out a hot breath. She had journeyed so close to the Dark, he realizes with intense sorrow and shame. She had done all of that for him. Yet this girl did not deserve what she’d gone through. All that pain and suffering. The Force was so unfair, he caught himself thinking. Unfair, for leading her to heartbreak over and over again, for tying her soul to an enemy and a coward like himself.

Because in the end, that’s what he was. A coward. A weakling. A fool. He may have been strong in the Force, he may have inherited the incredibly powerful Skywalker blood. But in the end, none of that mattered. That wasn’t true strength, that was just power. And instead of facing his past, he tried to run from it. He ran away his friends, his family, from the people who really cared for him. From Rey. In his fear, he had hurt everyone.

“Poe, Finn...even Rose. They kept begging me to stop,” Rey continues, breaking his thought process again. She was trying to keep her voice from cracking as she cried.

“I was losing myself in my frantic attempts to find you, they said. But I was so sure. You were out there, somewhere. I knew they wouldn’t understand even though they tried to help me. 

Her hold on him tightens.

“But there was so much else to do in the galaxy, so much to fix, and they needed my help. So one day, I decided to just...lock those emotions away. My grief. Missing you. I stopped searching for you. The visions, the illusions, they were too much to handle so I cut myself off from Force. When I opened myself up again, it was merely days before Coruscant.”

His heart lurches and sinks. The burden his disappearance had had on her...the hope she held on and let go.

“So...when I came back…?” Ben ponders loudly.

“Yes, when I saw you, I really thought you weren’t real. That the Dark Side was toying with my grief just like it had before.”

He refuses to consider how many times she’d seen his form only to be met with loss. He seethes at the thought.

By this time, the Force around them is pulsing, ribbons of it swirling around them. Rey shakes, sobs, whimpers, as she pours out whatever she had kept pent-up in her being. The gravity is enormous, with wave after wave of emotions flowing through him. He sits there unable to speak, his tongue tied in a knot. 

But Ben needs to do something. Anything. She is here, miserable and he’s sitting there all slack and worthless. He tries to brush self-deprecation aside as he attempts what he thinks is the next best thing. 

Pulling her close, he wraps his arms around her, letting her settle in the space between his outstretched legs.

The effect is immediate. The undulations in the Force subside. Rey’s shoulders relax, her trembling ceases, and she does not sobbing as often. He tightens his hold around her a little, resting his chin against the top of her head. He just hopes Rey isn’t uncomfortable with his feeble efforts to console her.

“I’m sorry too,” he whispers against her hair, his tongue eventually loosening. “For everything.”

He pauses. She is silent. He takes this as a sign to go on.

“I never should have put you through any of that. Since the moment we met on Takodana. You didn’t deserve any of this. I’m sorry that I had been such a burden to you. We were enemies but you showed me compassion and hope and yet I returned that with nothing but cowardice and selfishness. I’m sorry, Rey. ”

He would’ve wanted to give her a much longer speech, full of apologies. To show her how repentant he was for the pain he’d caused her, for the pain and suffering and cruelty and death he’d dealt to the galaxy at large as Kylo Ren and Supreme Leader. How much he would love to make up for it, to atone for his sins. But this is all he can afford to say for now. 

He just wishes his brief words are enough.

Rey nods against his chest, apparently hearing him loud and clear. Pulling away, she regards him. Her eyes are red, a little puffy, and teary. Hair strands are now loose where they were once held together. Even then, he sees how pretty she is in the moonlight. A stray tear flows down her cheek and Ben has to fight himself from wiping it away with his finger. 

Not yet.

She rubs her face with her hand.

“I know, Ben,” she says, smiling warmly at him. “I knew the moment you came, back on Exegol. And I forgive you. For all of it. 

She takes one of his hands, holds it in a tender grasp.

“And you’re not a burden,” she declares. “Please know you’re not a burden. Not to me, at least.”

He really wants to hug her again. 

“Thank you, Rey.” He wipes his palm down his face to hide the tears that have begun to well up in his eyes as well. 

They stare at each other. He’s not sure how much time passes, but he’s unable to take his eyes off of her. He keeps his thoughts hidden, shy to reveal the deeper, more intimate desires of his heart. And he suspects she does the same with how reserved she is through the tides in the Force, despite her encouragements. 

Then, an idea comes to him. It’s a bit half-witted, he admits but it might not hurt to ask.

“Hey, do you think,” he begins, hoping he doesn’t sound too desperate or weird. He swallows thickly.  
“Do you think we can...start over?”

Her kind gaze gives way to confusion. “Start over, like—?”

“Like normal people. As friends. Or even just acquaintances”

She lets out a bashful laugh. “Ben, I never really thought of us as normal, so I don’t think those apply to us.”

“I know, I know, I just—” He realizes how child-like he sounds right now and it makes him shrink. 

“Look, it sound silly to ask, Rey, cuz, I mean, we’re a ‘Dyad in the Force’.” 

He even makes a comical gesture with his hands to illustrate that last part. 

“But, I never really got to have normal relationships, if I can be very honest. I was always alone either in my room or in my mind. My parents were barely there, Luke treated me like some project until he apologized on his deathbed and...well I killed my old friends, my father, my mentor, and my master.”

Rey’s eyebrows hitch with the way he states that last part so casually. But she is familiar with his past. He’d shared it with her before in the Force and she’d been there to witness the rest.

There is a bit of a delay before she nods in understanding. “I get it,” she says. “I never really had normal relationships either...at least not until after I joined the Resistance.”

She pauses in thought, then extends her hand to him.

“Alright, sure. We can start over.” 

She smiles, tilting her head. “Friends?”

Ben nods. Slowly he takes her outstretched fingers, enveloping her hand in his own. So small. Rey is shaking it now. But at the final downstroke, their contact sends another strong wave of indiscernible feelings, memories and thoughts, through the Force. They hastily part, shaking off the sensation like electricity from their fingertips.

“Oh, well, that’s not ‘normal’,” Rey laughs.

“Yeah, we probably need to work on getting better at that,” Ben finds himself chuckling along.

“Well, we’re in this together now. We’ll help each other.”

 _Together._. The word lingers at the tip of his tongue.

The smile Rey gives him reaches between her ears now. Her aura is warmer, more radiant, energized, and welcoming than she had been just earlier when he found her or even in the last two weeks. The anticipation he had sensed from her earlier now gives way to peace and happiness. He’s glad. But something has hitched in his chest.

“Hey. You coming?”

He shakes off his thoughts. To his surprise, Rey has already gotten up from her spot and her leg is halfway down the hatch, several feet away. He clears his throat (mind) and spots the cups. Rey had left hers.

“Yeah, just give me a second!”

As he picks them up, empty and cold, he gazes up at the starry night sky.

That word Rey had said to him so naturally flutters into his mind again, like the wings of a butterfly.

_Together._

He recalls one of the visions he had caught during their handshake. There, silhouetted against indiscernible colors and shapes of all sizes, they stand side-by-side, hand-in-hand, the Force thrumming in harmony around them.

Tucking away the image into the hidden corner of his mind, Ben utters a silent promise, a vow, before making his way down the hatch after her.

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it. Hope you guys liked it. Some of you might have a lot of questions and that's okay. But I'm not going to reveal all the cards I have on my deck just yet. As I said earlier, I have a lot of details laid out already for certain events but for others, I am still working on them and have yet to settle on anything fully concrete. I hope you all can bear with me. Thanks!
> 
> (Oh, by the way, I despise the Rey Palpatine schtick, but as I said in the tags, I am compulsively canon-compliant and had to keep it in. But don't worry I have plans for that particular piece of information). 
> 
> **Here are some images I drew up depicting other events from my AU**
> 
> Rey displays her disagreement with Ben's decision to leave (spoiler alert he does go with her but stuff happens. Bad stuff):  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CCyspLLlXt4/
> 
> Ben on Jakku(1), having a Force conversation with Rey(2):  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CBshcE1FIFW/
> 
> Ben reunites(fights) with Rey on Coruscant. Swipe for a fuller account:  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CFw356mFQnN/
> 
> Rey expresses her feelings (a different iteration that I completely forgot about tbh, but the idea is still there):  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CD4MSoWlnIM/
> 
> You may visit me on Instagram, @qookyquiche and search for #SWDivergeAU for more art I've created for this AU.


End file.
